24 Days: Everything is Silly Please Vote Biden

I just wanna make nudes in peace. But in the meantime, these Crooked Media news rundowns make my shake my head enough that it doesn't actually explode. Let's get the silly guy outta the White House and let boring grownups keep us safe.

  • Elliot Broidy, a former top fundraiser for President Trump and the GOP, has been charged for his role in a scheme to influence the U.S. government on behalf of foreign interests. Broidy will plead guilty to participating in a scheme to illegally lobby the Trump administration to abandon an investigation into a Malaysian businessman. 

  • White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows hosted an Atlanta wedding for his daughter with 70 guests in May, in violation of a statewide order and city guidelines limiting gatherings to 10 people. Just a nice little anecdote for everyone who’s been unable to see their loved ones for the last seven months.

  • The Regeneron antibody cocktail that Trump has falsely called a coronavirus “cure” was developed with cells derived from fetal tissue, a type of research the administration has moved to shut down to satisfy the anti-choice lobby. Republicans hate hypocrisy, so this will surely change some minds. 

  • Health officials have been rushing to deliver Trump’s illegal drug-discount bribes to seniors before the election, as Trump loses their support in the polls at a rapid clip. 

  • Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he hasn’t been to the White House in months because of its lax approach to coronavirus, then got right back to work trying to jam through a Supreme Court justice who would agree to hand the election to the leader of that White House over the will of the voters.

  • Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron filed a motion to bar a grand juror in Breonna Taylor’s case from discussing the proceedings. 🤯

  • House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said there will be no standalone airline aid without a larger stimulus package, and also that “We’re going to be talking about the 25th Amendment.” Two great tastes that taste great together.

  • Saturday Night Live canceled Morgan Wallen’s scheduled musical performance after he spent the weekend violating coronavirus safety protocols. Live from New York, it’s the consequences of your own actions! 

  • Secretary of State Mike Pompeo put out a memo on “upcoming elections in Africa,” without specifying any particular countries. We are begging an NPR reporter to ask Mike to point to the countries with upcoming elections on a blank map

  • Mayor Pete has found his calling and it is cheerfully doing cold-blooded murders on Fox News



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