Forum Posts

Wyoh Lee
Oct 07, 2021
In Questions & Answers
How thoroughly have you explored your human form? The body is a changing landscape of infinite exploration should we choose it; every day, partner, mood and desire creates an opportunity for new. Yet humans are creatures of habit and simplification which can lead to creative stagnation. How clearly can you articulate your desires to a partner? What do you notice in your body when you think about having this conversation? Contraction? Turn-on? Boredom? Ask and answer these questions with your next lover over drinks, dinner a walk and see how long you can keep your hands off each other. Or keep it all hands-on, and use it as an opportunity for an in-depth review of what sensations exist where, today, in this moment. NOTE: if you’re trying something that’s new for a partner, practice asking if they want something first, and then go slow, and get feedback in real-time. Touch-first-ask-second should only happen after an explicit, enthusiastic yes has been offered. BODY OVERVIEW What does it feel like to be in your body? What’s your relationship with your body like? How does being naked make you feel? How do you feel about a partner looking at your body? What’s your relationship to touching and being touched? When do you feel the best in and about your body? When does it feel good to receive physical compliments? When does it feel bad?? What are your favorite compliments to give your own body? TOUCH OVERVIEW If/when we touch, are there any particular ways in which we need to be careful with your body (injuries, sensitive spots, sensitive immune system etc)? How much touch do you like? In sexual situations? Outside of sexual situations? On a scale of “snuggle octopus” to “I need by own bed,” where do you fall for postcoital snuggling? For actual sleeping? Do you like: Being tickled Fingertip caresses Petting Rubbing Massage Light scratches Lips all over your body Tongue all over your body Breathing on or near your skin Gripping an arm, butt, hips, shoulders etc Impact play (NOTE: choking, hitting, slapping etc requires technique to do safely; DO YOUR RESEARCH and do not risk your sight, vision, cardiac function or even a black eye) Anything else? Create a Story Arc of Touch for your partner: after taking note of their wants / loves / desires, offer them a touch-based experience with your hands that has a clear beginning, middle and end. For maximum amounts of teasing: touch everywhere on their body except the most arousing spots, and then go out on a date, letting the turn-on simmer. If you're interested in taking turns being the toucher and touchee, consider spacing this out across different days, weeks, or even months. While reciprocity is an important influence on human behavior, obligation is never sexy–but setting up appropriate time frames can allow both pleasures in both directions, with plenty of time to brainstorm creative ways of engaging between role swapping.
Body Feels Part I: What Does Your Body Desire? content media
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Wyoh Lee
Sep 01, 2021
In Questions & Answers
Together, we can make it so the cool thing to do is to show basic levels of care for those we bring into our, um, innermost circle(s). The barest minimum effort: Wanna fuck? But for me & most of the lovers I talk to, trust & safety with thoughtful, communicative lovers (regardless of level of “seriousness”) = better sex. Pick your versions of the following that make sense to you, remember that leading with your own vulnerability helps others feel comfy, and at the very least, cover these three basics: ENTHUSIASM I think you’re sexy; are you in a sexy mood? Wanna fuck? What are you in the mood for today? How comfy are you letting me know if you want or need something different? I like to check in after, and also sometimes during, is that something you’re up for? Any communication preferences? SAFETY I’m a big fan of safer sex and like to use barriers unless I’m exclusive or we decide to fluid-bond; how do you feel about condoms or dental dams? Do we have any? Do we need to go shopping? When was your last round of STI testing? Which tests did you get? [NOTE: most places don’t test for Herpes unless you ask] Were results “all clear,” or is there anything we need to keep in mind to play safely? Have you had partners since then? What if any protection did you use with them? (for partners with repeat-potential) If you have unprotected contact with other partners, will you let me know? Do you have any: allergies (especially: pets, latex, peanuts)? phobias? physical sensitivities? triggers? If triggered, how can I best support you? [or] If I get triggered, it might look like _____, and the best way to support me is _____. Other convo starter options for the very nervous: I [do/don’t] get cold sores; do you? Did you know that’s herpes and is super easy to transmit? Is this your first time? No? How often do you get tested? It sounds like I might be more cautious – are you ok erring on the side of extra-protected when we’re together? PLEASURE What does your body love? Do you have any no-zones? What do you want to explore? Do you have any kinks? What do you need to feel comfortable? i.e.: Toys? Lube? Sheets on the bed? Curtains closed? Music? Quiet? Lights on/off? A shower? etc. Is there anything else I should know that might be relevant or would help you feel more comfortable or sexy? HAVE FUN. Big love.
Enthusiasm, Safety & Pleasure Basics content media
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Wyoh Lee
Sep 01, 2021
In General Discussion
I'm figuring this out still, but it seems like a potentially fun way for us to interact and dialogue. If I'm super wrong, I'll move all the Lover-questions to the blog only––but I'd LOVE your feedback on the lists of questions I'm offering. What's unclear? What's too complicated, or not nuanced enough? When or why would or wouldn't you ask this to one of your lovers? What questions does it inspire in you? This is a place for open, thoughtful sharing. BIG love, w
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Wyoh Lee
Sep 01, 2021
In General Discussion
We'd love to get to know you better. Take a moment to say hi to the community in the comments by sharing the following: Creative* turn-on Creative* turn-off One way you'd like to grow creatively* in the next 3-6 months *CREATIVE applies to everything, including sex –– for me, it's alllll related. If you're not ready to talk about sex, you don't have to. But you're welcome to, and many of these initial questions are gonna be sexy. That said, I believe our creativity is directly linked to our sense of autonomy and human contentment, and it is important for all of us to feel connected to it. so whether you're problem-solving with spreadsheets at work, building websites, figuring out which predator bugs need to eat pests and how many to buy for your acreage, whether you're painting or drawing on your downtime or for clients, whether you're trying to figure out what you're writing or why you aren't...share it here. And feel free to do a sex and non-sex version if that makes the pic complete for you :)
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Wyoh Lee
Sep 01, 2021
In General Discussion
I want everyone to get the most out of this community, so we ask that you please read and follow these guidelines: Respect each other; explicit topics are welcome, but must be handled respectfully (see below Wyoh's personal communication guidelines; you can always find the latest version on the contact page) Keep posts relevant to your creativity No spamming C O M M U N I C A T I O N G U I D E Clear, explicit, literal communication is the kind I understand best. I typically get confused by euphemism, the opposite game humans seem so fond of, "you-" statements that are really sneaky "I-" statements, and meaningless phrases that do not contain clearly identifiable information or emotion. If I ask questions, it's because I am confused, not because I am judging you. I don't understand secret criticisms or secret mads, but they are the #1 reason I avoid people and parties. Speak only about your own experiences. We are here to celebrate and learn from one another's experiences and to noodle on human feelings, not to preach or teach or gossip or blame. Keep it sex-positive, curious, open-minded & safe. If it's legal and consensual, don't yuck someone else's yum, and certainly don't expect me to agree with you. Remain respectful. Make sure you've read this list, ask instead of assuming a boundary, and if one is offered to you, accept it kindly. I will not attack you, but I may offer a reframe – this is challenging for people if they forget that I'm just trying to make the world a more loving place. ​ Keep your fantasies about Wyoh & anyone in our community to yourself. Including podcast guests, my friends you think are hot, etc. And keep genitals covered. ​ Err on the side of checking in. Practice using your sexy words if you have a question that isn't answered by the above guidelines. Boundary pushing, rudeness, and agreement breaches result in blocking. Please do not mistake my love for sex and friendliness for a desire to have sex with you, and please don't take this personally. Yes, I have crushes on most people, but crushes do not a good idea make.
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Wyoh Lee
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